Kabob One, Margy Zero

I went out to feed the chickens and collect eggs yesterday, wearing the loose garden clogs we use so that we don't get chicken crap on the soles of our regular shoes. Kabob has been feeling pretty feisty since the sudden disappearance of the other two roosters. Sometimes he raises his hackle feathers and tries to drive us away from his hens. Jordan thinks he's more likely to get defensive if you look him in the eye. I've certainly noticed that on the occasion that a hen holds still long enough for me to pet her, he's not happy about it.

Today I don't know what got into Kabob, but he started jumping at me with beak and claws. As usual, I kicked at him to push him away. This time, my clog flew off and landed behind him. Now hopping, I used the egg collecting basket (containing eight eggs) to fend him off. Naturally, he attacked it, and six of the eggs fell to the floor and broke. Damn!

I gave up on self-defense, hopped around him to get my clog with a flurry of angry rooster around my legs. I held him off with the basket while I retrieved some eggs and ground the shattered ones into the wood shavings so that the chickens wouldn't figure out how delicious they are and start eating their eggs. I don't know whether it was Kabob's claws or beak that got me, and it's lucky I was wearing thick pants, because I've got big round bruises all over the back of one calf -- he even broke the skin in one place, right through the pants.

I'd be pretty ticked off if it weren't so funny. Where's America's Funniest Home Videos when you need them?